How to Survive Brexit from an Artist’s Point of View

Boris Johnson

  • Keep a sense of humour at all times! – I highly recommend watching the discussions in the House of Commons, it’s far funnier and more entertaining than any Muppet Show I have ever seen! – Maybe only a 5/10 though for this one as you will have to draw yourself away from the TV and the other more serious analytical discussions about Brexit.

paint-on-face-3-of-6

  • Paint – this is my obvious default as an artist but it is fantastic for closing your mind to anything other than painting. Very therapeutic and it worked for Jackson Pollock! Also, there is the added bonus of spending a lot of time after the painting or creative event, wondering how you are going to get that great big splodge of green paint off your natural wood dining table! (Preferably before hubby comes home from work but hey at least you won’t be talking about Brexit)  – Excellent – I think this is a 10/10

Eat hey with a donkey

  • Go to the countryside and eat hay with the nearest donkey whilst staring aimlessly at said countryside. Of course make sure it is a reasonably nice day because you don’t want to sit in a soggy field (that isn’t even worth doing to escape Brexit) – Downside – you may well be sharing the field you are in with a lot of petrified farmers who are also sitting chewing hay staring aimlessly into space wondering about their livelihoods.  Another 5/10 then!

Prince Charles

  • When needing to go out into town or in my case the big City of London for shopping etc. Wear headphones and listen to Wham (other choices available) and when anybody talks to you about Brexit, just nod and smile. This method has worked perfectly well for my three boys.  Added bonus of this method is that no one really cares even if they notice that you are wearing headphones and listening to Wham, because everyone is more interested in listening to their own opinions on Brexit any way!  10/10

Book worm for web

  • Read a good chic lit and pretend you are actually Heidi the very gorgeous young, energetic, happy vivacious girl who is working in a beautiful little Cup Café in a sleepy seaside village where everyone just wants to chat about their holiday, love interest or new babies or even new puppies – Lovely! ( Not a politician in sight or anyone ever discussing Brexit so I also give this a 10/10

lady reading in bath

  • Take yourself somewhere in your home which has been allocated as your “Brexit” free zone.

In my house this could only be the bathroom as it has the only lockable door in the house! This is fine for about  an hour maximum as it can get a little claustrophobic in there!  Plus it is quite uncomfortable to sit on the loo reading chic lit for any length of time.  You can of course take a bath, whilst reading but this has never worked well for me – I tend to drop the book in the bath and end up with soggy pages.  Upside is my boys would never shout “Mum can you come out of the bathroom I need to talk to you about Brexit” – but downside is they will disturb you for any other reason i.e. “Mum the dog has been sick all over the carpet, How do I clean it up?”  How come it’s never “Mum, you ok in there?  Would you like a nice cup of tea?”  I therefore give this a 5/10

  • DON’T watch the NEWs – JUST Don’t (10/10)

Baby

  • If you have access to a baby in your family then this is the perfect opportunity to see the world through their eyes. Added bonus is that you can act completely ga ga and they will usually laugh at you making you feel good about the world in general.  Downside of this of course is that if you don’t have access to a baby you can’t really go up to any randomly in public speaking gibberish to them for any length of time as the parents will be most disconcerted. I give this 5/10 as I currently don’t have access to any babies.

Phoebe for web

  • I do however, have a gorgeous cavapoo named Princess Phoebe. All she is concerned with in this mad, crazy world is food, cuddles, walks and tummy tickles.  Easy and heart-warming so I give this 10/10 and even if you don’t have your own dog you can borrow and walk one (with the owner’s permission of course).  Added bonus is that if you do have a cute dog, you will be approached only by people who want to go all soppy over your dog – not a mention of Brexit – Very good outcome. 10/10 from me

Bridget singing

  • And last but not least pour yourself a large glass of wine, put your favourite music on and dance and sing to your hearts content.(Just like Bridget Jones).  Or watch a funny movie such as Bridget Jones diary or Laurel and Hardy and laugh yourself silly.   Upside you will be happily unaware of Brexit but downside is if you drink too much you may suddenly sink into despair and start crying about the state of the world.  I therefore award this 4/10

So my conclusion is after doing some analysis of this list that the perfect antidote to Brexit is:

Paint, wear earphones whilst listening to Wham, Read a chic lit and walk the dog! – My only problem is in which order to do these and how many can I do at the same time – hence concentrating on this solution and NOT thinking about BREXIT – I’m a survivor!!!